James Galvin

Today I discovered that Sam, at work, is a geocacher. I was amazed that I had never heard of this activity before - the global GPS cache hunt. Its like a secret society of Boo Radleys who hide little treasure boxes throughout the world, and give, on the internet, the GPS co-ordinates for clues that will lead to the cache. There are hundreds of these caches in Ireland alone, and Sam himself has located around 14 caches in Dublin.

The cache itself is usually a box, well hidden under stones or in some secret location, with a log book and some trinkets within. If you discover the cache, you sign the log book and can take souvenir out of the box if you want, although it is recommended that you replace it with an item of your own. The whole concept was fascinating to me, so I asked Sam for a real example. Dublin Castle was the one he gave. Somewhere in the walls of Dublin Castle, unknown to the hundreds of staff and tourists that pass by its hidden location every day, is a secret cache. Occasionally a geocacher will have targetted this particular quest, and following the clues, may or may not find the box and leave his signature.

Each cache is marked with a level of difficulty, and an indication of how difficult the terrain is. Having quickly looked over the website, it seems this is a popular family activity, so there is advance warning given if the cache is going to be located inside a volcano or something. I was slightly concerned about the prospect of saboteurs… people who go around stealing all the caches, or planting explosives or unsavoury material inside of them, but this doesn’t happen at the moment. One of these days, some geo cacher is going to be diagnosed with a terminal illness and inside the cache will be the keys to his Ferrari. It is rare that caches are discovered by the public, but the cache owner returns occasionally to check on it.

Here is a sample of the clues from a random Irish cache:

1. Go to the location above. You will find an unusual piece of art by Doug Ross. It was erected in 19A8. Make a note of this decade as you will need the answer for the final cache. In order to find the coordinates for the next stage you need to obtain the following information: The title of the piece has how many letters? Call this answer a and go to N53º 04.110 W006º 12.a65

2. At this location you will see a sign post. A famous film was made around this area. How many letters are in the title of the film? Call this answer b and input it into the following coordinates in order to be able to move forward to the next stage: N53º 03.(b-5)16 W006º 11.166

…

7. You now find yourself outside a pub in the heart of the village. Either call in for a pint of the black stuff or make a note of the phone number hanging on the sign outside, 01 281?247. Call this answer C. You will need this for the final cache location.

8. Almost there! Go to N53º 03.950 W006º 13.457. You should see a two digit yellow number. Take the second digit and call it D. You can now input the final cache location numbers A,B,C & D collected on your trip around the reservoir to find the final cache and it’s goodies!

What a great hobby. Sounds like an entertaining way to spend a Saturday afternoon, and you get to see lots of places that you never would have visited otherwise. Many of the caches are placed in locations that the instigator would deem to be remarkable… perhaps there is a great view, or an unusually shaped tree.

I’m going to turn my head and never look at geo caching again, because I generally don’t do half-measures when it comes to hobbies. If I got hooked on geocaching, I would be looking for caches all over the world, and planting my own caches in the most ridiculous places. I have been to some inaccessible places in the past - on Fastnet Rock for example, or on a glacier on a remote island in Patagonia - and I would struggle to resist hiding my own caches in these places. I would be climing cliff faces and lodging the little box into a falcon’s empty nest, or securing it inside some submerged wreck. Tip: don’t try it at an airport.

While I’m on the topic of drink advertising, I have to commend Stella Artois on another quality campaign. Saw this one tonight at the cinema:

Incidentally, the movie was Thank You for Smoking - a very entertaining slightly Coen brothers-esque comedy. Its one I would normally have skipped thanks to the terrible title, but it was well worth watching.

When I gave an account of my adventures in some dodgy parts of Dublin’s south inner city, I had no idea that I had been right outside my sister’s apartment. Today I started working in Dublin, and I am temporarily using her empty room overlooking Saint Theresa’s Gardens (flats from hell), a very dodgy vacant lot, and a centre-of-the-universe Centra. I have been hearing stories the past few months regarding the entertainment provided by this Centra at night, far better than anything the television can offer. I assumed the stories of drug dealing in the vacant lot, and nightly fights and arrests outside the Centra were exaggerated, but it seems this place is as crazy as promised.

My first night’s entertainment was provided by a drunk guy getting thrown out of Centra by a security guard and two paramedics, and being taken into an ambulance. I don’t know what happened inside the shop, but twice he put his arms around the security guard and kissed him as he was being dragged away. The shutter was drawn on the shop, and the staff spent the following twenty minutes I guess cleaning up whatever damage the man had done.

They were still at it when the man returned, and shouted through the shutter “Come here you fucking bastard, do you want to start a war?” over and over again. Just before the police arrived, the man scurried off and hid in the vacant lot. I observed the unmarked Garda car do a few laps of the area trying to find him, while some other Gardai ushered the staff of Centra out of the shop.

A few minutes later the police were gone and the man reappeared at the shop and started trying to kick the doors in. Defeated by the shutter, he eventually gave up. I’ve got to put a webcam up here, this place is nuts.

When it comes to incompetence relating to computers and the internet. None of the emails I sent off to hotels in Timisoara, Romania last week were answered - with one bounceback. So I’m sure that Comreg (aka Telecoms Watch-Poodle) will be delighted to hear that Ireland isn’t the only country where you need to make a phone call in order to get anything done. After getting pummeled in the media this week, they’ll be looking for another reason to pat each other on the back to complement themselves on a job well done.

Rymus has some familiar scenes of UCC like you’ve never seen them before. Reminds me that I need to get myself a camera. Syxpak mentioned the Canon PowerShot A540, so I’ll probably get one of them unless somebody tells me its a bad idea. Can anyone recommend a good book or something that will tell me what I need to know about digital photography?

For the gamers - theres life in Quake 4 yet, as the E-Sports World Championships are underway in Paris. There were no surprises in the group stages, and it looks like it will be the usual suspects contesting for the title, with some notable absences. Disappointing that the Americans are only represented by one player due to sponsorship issues.

Finally, via Sean McGrath - an entertaining list of autoantonyms, words that are the opposite of themselves.

“I am fear incarnate. I am the terror of Gotham. I am the Scarecrow!”

I must admit that ever since I was small I secretly suffered a morbid fear of scarecrows. For some people its vampires, for others its evil clowns, but ever since Harold, there was nothing that could chill me to the marrow like the all-knowing, accusing eyes of an abused scarecrow waiting for his chance to get revenge.

“I lift void eyes and scan
the sky for crows, those ravening foes,
of my strange master, Man.I watch him striding lank behind
his clashing team, and know
soon will the wheat swish body high”

But the crows have been a menace this year, eating all of the hens’ food. What better chance to exorcise my demons and save a few oats while I’m at it.

In the spirit of the World Cup, I am pleased to introduce to you my new friend Wayne:

I had initially gone with the face below, but I know that theres no way I would have been able to lock them up at night with that fella standing over them. Terrifying.

This is what happens when you’re unemployed for too long.

Cork City will face Apollon Limassol of Cyprus in the first qualifying round of the Champions League. The winner will then go on to play Red Star Belgrade (aka FK Crvena Zvezda). All the qualifying round fixtures are here.

I have never heard of Apollon Limassol but Heres where Wikipedia comes in handy:

In 2006 Apollon won the Cyprus First Division championship title, while being the only undefeated team in Europe. Apollon hasn’t had a defeat for the last 30 league games (since 12 March 2005 - today).

While the league of Cyprus might not be the highest standard, that is a very impressive statistic, and this looks like a very difficult fixture. A number of them play for Cypriot national team, and they’ve also got three Iraqis who probably train with a concrete football, and a bunch of Eastern Europeans including at least one former Polish national who played in World Cup 2002.

Cork City are top of the league again after beating Drogheda United tonight, but do not look as strong as last season. It would be too much to ask for a repeat of last year’s performances against FK Ekranas and in particular the heroic win over Djurgårdens IF. I’m looking forward to this, the match will take place on the 11th or 12th of July.

Derry City face familiar opposition in the UEFA Cup - former winners IFK Göteborg. Cork City played them in the UEFA qualifiers in 1999 - Göteborg won a flattering 3-0 in Denmark, while City won 1-0 in Turners Cross. Drogheda United will face the Finnish team HJK Helsinki.

Michael Jackson flew in today and according to RTE, he will be staying at Blackwater Castle in Castletownroche. Locals speculate that he may have come to attend their far-famed fortnightly jumble sale. Others reckon that he’s actually going to stay with Michael Flathead. Either way, you’d think theres no need for the masks in Cork airport - and with the size of those bodyguards he’s hardly going to get mobbed. You’re not in Neverland anymore Mick, show some respect!

Today the dog came back with a pack of 8 Crunchy Chicken Fillets in her mouth, partially frozen. I don’t know where she gets these things, but this means that in the past six months she has stolen from the neighbours:

• A side of smoked salmon
• A rack of lamb
• A string of sausages (in true cartoon style)
• 8 Crunchy Chicken Fillets

Reminds me of that Heineken (Budweiser?) ad with the hawk. I don’t know what to do about it.

From the site that brought you the two-nosed dog, here are the Top 10 Hybrid Animals. Amazing stuff - I was skeptical about one or two of them but after searching a bit they all seem legit. Silver medal goes to the leopon:

“You should be up there Johnny, up in that spotlight, singing the blues with the best of them. Instead of giving away money in the Bank of Ireland.”

I try to stay away from banks where ever possible, and so far I have been largely successful in that. Today, however, I needed to get a small loan out, so I rang the BOI.

<Bank> The repayments on that will be €148.55 per month
<Me> Alright, whats the interest rate?
<Bank> uhh
<Bank> uhh *cough* 11.5%
<Me> Hmm… I was expecting lower than that.
<Bank> OK, ok - how about 7.9%. The repayments will be €142.67 per month

As I said I don’t have a lot of dealings with banks, and in general I’m not one for haggling, I usually pay the asking price. But this seemed outrageous to me, that if I hadn’t idly mentioned the interest rate then I would be paying back a considerable amount extra. Are the people who sells the loans getting a percentage commission? I have seen the exact same thing happen with car insurance quotes - dropping hundreds off the quote there and then if you question it. I have a bad habit of assuming that these kind of things are regulated, roughly fixed prices, when in reality they are hugely inconsistent.