James Galvin

I was in Dublin today for another interview. My knees are still aching from the cramped train - up and down in one day is not a good idea, over six hours without a chance to stretch your legs cannot be good. Now I know how Roy Keane must feel… I would retire myself, only I don’t actually have a job to retire from.

In Dublin, the petrol stations rob you - 128.9 for regular unleaded petrol. I got fleeced by a crafty beggar who caught me off guard by asking for “€4.50 to get home to Westmeath”. With all these thoughts of robbers going through my head I should have known better than to walk back from the interview. I do this all the time - in London, Dublin, America - whenever I’m in a strange city I just randomly choose a street which looks important enough that it might eventually lead to the train station, and ten minutes later I find myself alone in a suit outside a block of boarded up flats with a big ‘rob me’ sign over my head. After about 30mins wandering through some dodgy looking parts of Dublin today, I ended up in a place called ‘Cork Street’ and then I knew everything would be OK.

I’m very glad to see that there is going to be tougher legislation introduced regarding attacks on emergency services, following this attack on a fireman who was responding to a call. Attacks on the emergency services by young scumbags with stones/bottles/roadblocks are common all over the country, Cork included, and its one thing that makes me very angry. This is something that should not be tolerated even once, never mind allowed to continue for years. Just load the back of a firetruck full of Gardaí with tranquilizer guns, drive around The Glen/Ballybeg/Fairview/Moyross and set them loose as soon as the first stone hits the windscreen.

I hear stories about parts of Cork being ‘no-go’ areas to Gardaí… perhaps I’m being naive, but how bad can it be? Isn’t it just a load of kids who are chucking the stones and bottles at emergency services? If you are wondering - no, I have never been to any of these areas at night, and yes, I would be scared to bejesus (I was wary enough as it is in broad daylight today), but I’m not a policeman.

Speaking of Gardaí, I had to laugh at this Bebo movie of two of them being pushed into a river, via TCAL. Reminds me of when I was in Killarney last year before the Snow Patrol / Paddy Casey concert, I was there very early so the streets were totally empty but the Gardaí were patrolling anyway. One of them was walking down an empty closed-off street by himself trying to look dignified and authoritative, when a small dog ran out of one of the houses and attacked him - bit onto his uniform at the hip and wouldn’t let go… the guard was terrified, trying to shake him off and run away at the same time. Wish I had caught that on camera.

A guy linked to this on IRC - a FFXI Games Master’s blog. Having wasted €50 on Final Fantasy Online when it first came out, I have no remorse for these losers who continue to play it, and I must commend [GM]Dave on his good work.

[GM]Dave>> You said he was a gilseller
[GM]Dave>> Just because he was there for 5 days.
Player>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> And then you said you were there for 5 days.
Player>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> And 2 plus 2 equals…
Player>> 4?

*makes a note in player account*

Attention: Player is apparently mildly retarded.

[GM]Dave>> Logic and math skills.
[GM]Dave>> You must beat the girls off with a stick.
Player>> Yeah. A stick +1. lol

*makes a note in player account*

Attention: Player is apparently mildly functionally retarded.

If you don’t know who Leroy Jenkins is by now then this probably won’t interest you, but GGL’s Carmac has posted a thorough interview with the world’s most notorious paladin. In it, Leeeroy declares that he was not stoned at the time, and reveals exactly what was doing while the tactics were being discussed: reheating his now famous chicken.

He gives no definite answer as to whether or not the farce was staged - my own opinion is that it must have been genuine, as no group so large would consent to wasting hours running a major zone for the sake of a stunt which on paper is not particularly funny. Nobody could have predicted that this would gain such publicity.

Who are you in real life Leeroy?

My name is Ben Schulz, I live in Lafayette, Colorado and I have for my whole life. I graduated from the University of Colorado Boulder with a degree in electric engineering and I currently work as a repair technician for industrial lighting.

“Silence you furry fool. You’re finished here, you understand? I’ve had it with your whining. You’re cast out, you’re banished.”

Its Beep Beep Little Satellite all over again. I have been listening to this for the past three hours non-stop, thanks to Spacey.

This is probably an old one, but its the first time I’ve seen it, Bruno interviews the neo-Nazis at EvilFest in England:

Macros linked to this on IRC - Shelley The Republican has outraged hundreds of gullible people with an article on how Linux is a threat to American freedom, a backlash by Europeans jealous of America’s lead in technology. This is clearly an elaborate parody site in my opinion, and very entertaining at that (have a read of some of the other articles). Lots of people still believe it to be genuine, citing Shelley’s republican team as proof of this, but I cannot see past it being a wind-up in the tradition of is your son a computer hacker?

Finally, remember to include Linux users in your prayers tonight. As individuals we may not be able to change people’s minds, but the Bible teaches that God can make any sinner repent.

While you’re getting ready to play QuakeWorld, here is something to whet your appetite. x0n has posted on quake.ie about the latest port of id Software’s Quake 1 engine: IF Quake, created by one of the developers of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Jason Bergman.

A few years ago, Text Mode Quake was summonning Satan all over your hard drive. This year’s offering to the ‘cool but useless’ catalogue of Quake is a late April Fools joke by someone with too much time on his hands. Written using the Inform Programming Language - a language for creating Interactive Fiction games, the game has been translated into a text adventure.

Elevator Room
This room is really more of an inlet off the previous corridor, as it consists only of some metal walls, and a bright red button that is flashing.
A grunt is standing here, armed with a shotgun and looking rather surly.
The Grunt's shotgun shoots across your shoulder, hitting you for 5 points. It's only a flesh wound.



>attack grunt with axe
You hit the Grunt taking off 4 from his health.
The Grunt's shotgun hits your foot, hitting you for 5 points. You'll be fine tomorrow, but it really smarts.


This is pure class - the best photoshop series since Something Awful merged human features onto animals. Thanks to BoingBoing for the link.

“Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass??”

I noticed this article today, about a guy who was arrested on Friday after setting fire to the wrong car.

The report states Clark said he started the blaze ‘‘to pay him back for hitting me,’’ referring to an apparent earlier altercation between Clark and Sager, who was using Ingram’s car.

Sounds like a real-life Walter Sobchak

“His eyes were like steel; cold, hard. Had a shock of hair… red like the fires of Hell.”

Perhaps it was a very slow news day that prompted extensive coverage on an unusually large rabbit that is terrorising the countryside in Northumberland, England. Allegedly, sharpshooters have been hired to combat the threat to lettuces in the area.

In a cruel blow to the memory of General Woundwort, Yahoo’s imaginative writers opted to christen the monster “Bigs Bunny“. The picture they included (shown here) is completely unrelated to this case, and comes from a German breeder, but it is cool nonetheless.

At least they out-do the BBC’s shocking revelations:

“It’s been taking huge bites out of cabbages, carrots and turnips… it’s a hungry fella”

In a bizarre twist, one of the sharpshooters may or may not have been found lying in a pool of his own blood, his severed throat lacerated with vicious clawmarks that could only be described as “leporine”. Forensics suggest that the severe bruising to the head and body may have been inflicted by a blunt object, possibly some form of vegetable.